AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
pop tarts are not kleenex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
