I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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