some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
