For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
