So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
