kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
