Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
