You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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