I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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