so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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