so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
