She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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