after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
