you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
