all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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