No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
