..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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