I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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