Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
