Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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