lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
