Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
