dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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