So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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