my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
