Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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