Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
