So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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