Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
