writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
