Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
