no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
