I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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