it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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