What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
