im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
