if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish my penis had a tongue
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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