Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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