he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
