Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
