kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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