Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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