Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have tasted many bathrooms
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
