i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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