Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
