There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
pray to the hookup gods
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
