he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
