Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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