Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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