I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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