I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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