Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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