you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
