She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
