At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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