Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
