Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
