I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
