...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
