My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's blow job season.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
