k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize