Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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