Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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