I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
