ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
