enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
