K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
