We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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